that moment when you’re just venting to someone every little thing that you’ve been upset with them for and holding in for so long that you start crying because you realize how alone you’ve felt without them and you feel bad for getting so mad but they deserve it because they weren’t there for you…
i love finding things out that i wasn’t supposed to know. lmao bitch you’re insecurities will eat you alive, i don’t even have to lift a finger…
give me thunder, give me lightning, and i will give you every part of me. take me dancing, get me fucked up, play that old guitar and we will sing…
sorry i didn’t turn out to be the daughter you always wanted, but i’m the daughter you have. maybe instead of always comparing me to my “perfect” brother, you should take a step back and see how hard i’m trying.
so what i have red hair and piercings and i walk around wearing mostly black and i listen to metal? that doesn’t make me a bad kid, it just makes me - me. i still work hard in school and get good grades, i’m not an alcoholic or a drug addict or a slut.
i tried killing myself once before, until i realized how selfish suicide is. it affects everyone else around you, not just yourself. if affects your family, friends, classmates, coworkers, every single human being that knows you would be affected in some way shape or form if you kill yourself. and it’s not the way out, it’s giving up. i’ve never been a quitter in my entire life and i don’t plan to become one now.
but have you ever looked at me, and i mean really looked at me? because i’m not okay. as much as my life seems to be great, i’m struggling with demons of my own on the inside. i’m miserable in college. i hate my classes. i hate commuting. i hate being single and alone. i hate being fat. i hate having to come home every day. i want to leave. i want to get out. and yet, i don’t want to leave my family. as annoying as they are and as angry as they make me most of the time, they really are great and they’ve always been there for me and always helped me with whatever i needed…until now.
depression isn’t just an excuse, it’s a real disease. maybe if you took it more seriously, you’d realize i’m doing the best i can, but maybe my best isn’t good enough for your standards. maybe i need to see a doctor and get professional help before it’s too late…
